3:50 a.m. I have not been this awake in 12 hours. All I need these days is a couple hours of sleep and my body can jump into action like it’s a brand new day if I wake for any reason. My version of insomnia. I’ve been lying still in exactly the same position for 4 hours, carefully cradling my son who, for a long list of reasons, is sleeping in our bed tonight. Finally he is at peace after a night of nothing short of intermittent hysteria. Sometimes we are bad parents and drag our kid to not one but two places after bedtime. (So many goodbyes.)
I get the brilliant idea to tuck this happily-sleeping, freshly-fed boy into his own bed of sorts on the freshly empty floor, ready for our move. I spread my mom’s afghan, the only blanket of its kind not yet used to pad picture frames. I roll over to my left side, enjoying the novelty, and settle in for some beauty sleep. But now I am wide awake. The thunderstorm is over so I actually have a chance of sleeping, but no.
Just then I hear a muffled clang-clunk and a fuss. I look over the edge of the bed and the boy has woken up to put his newly acquired food-energy to work and decided, after a two-week strike on any progress, to choose this moment to master his rolling skills. He is forehead-to-leg with the barstool serving as my make-shift bed table.
Pillows installed, I decide it’s too funny not to record and I’m too awake to do anything but lie here frustrated with myself, so I grab the computer. Now he is lying on the floor, making endless happy, squeaky comments, peering at me through the darkness out of his over-wide eyes.
We’ll just have to wait another week or so before the concept of night-time has much meaning for Mother or Child.
As I lay here and maneuvered myself deftly around the sleeping boy to adjust pillows and reach my water glass, I thought how fast things change. Tonight we had the joy of meeting one of the world’s newest editions, Joel Justice Wynja. 12 days old. I am remembering now those first nights of co-sleeping, when Jacob slept by my side because it was all I could do to ease my gaping belly into a sitting position. Getting off the edge of the bed was completely out of the question. Now I wiggle all over the place.
And so does he.