8:45 a.m. Baby gets shots in both thighs.
12:45 p.m. Baby finally feels yucky enough to have a meltdown in the middle of lunch. He is covered in left-over birthday cake.
1:00 p.m. 2yo is left to play upstairs while I take baby for a new diaper, new clothes, and nap time.
1:05 p.m. After a morning of subtly noticeable potty dances and “No I don’t need/want to go potty,” 2yo calls “I need to go potty!” and instead of coming downstairs so I could help her, she responds in silence, and, knowing what that means, I respond by grabbing Naked Baby and running upstairs to find her standing in a huge puddle of pee at the top of the stairs. Thankfully on the laminate, not the carpet. Naked Crying Baby goes in the nearby stroller, 2yo gets stripped and set on the potty with books, and I Lysol the floor and get a load of wash started.
1:10 Naked Crying Baby gets some Tylenol and we are back downstairs for the nap process and he is wailing in pain and sadness. I rock him and sing till he is ready to sleep and then leave him.
1:20 p.m. 2yo is on the potty, with her books and all the jackets from the nearby hooks all over the floor. I pick up the jackets and the books, march her upstairs to the bathtub, Lysol the rest of the floor, bathe her, and get her in bed for quiet time.
1:30 p.m. I go back to finish taking the trash out, a project I started three hours ago.

And THIS is why I need a drink.

Oh right. I’m pregnant. Well, I think I’ll just go take a shower instead.

I’m looking forward to laughing over this moment when all the “I remember the time when my kids…” comments roll in.

You might call a kid peeing all over the floor a crisis. You might call a poopy, cake-covered, screaming baby a crisis. Actually, it’s only a crisis when it’s happening simultaneously, and even then, who are we kidding? I like what Rachel Jankovic says about how usually it only takes 20 minutes for the crisis to be over. Leaves you some perspective to sit and calmly rock a distraught sweetie even though there is another little person sitting naked on the potty a few rooms away awaiting a bath. You do what you gotta do.


3 thoughts on “Crisis

  1. Sorry, Sweetie, but I’m laughing already, and heartily. At your expense? Well, too bad. This was just a great story that brought back many memories. And if many for me, how many more for Mom?!

    1. You were SUPPOSED to laugh. That’s why I wrote it. And I’m sure you do have many memories, because I have plenty of little-tiny-kid memories of being the one doing the peeing.

  2. Kind of reminds me of what it’s like to come home to a pile of barf and a broken door from Daisy flipping out. But in the grand scheme of things, as long as nobody is on fire, probably not such a big deal. I think we call this “par for the course” with kids–part of the reason dogs are enough for me!!!

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